Recounting your infertility stories can actually help you deal with things when working through infertility can feel like a terribly isolated journey. It’s not hard to see who isn’t battling with infertility – from the tricycle left on the front lawn to the ‘baby on board’ sticker in the back window – the signs are all there. When a couple doesn’t have children, unless you know them well, you would never know if it’s by choice or not. Previously (as in prior to the world wide web) you could only find support groups where you could tell your infertility stories in big cities. Also, there was quite a lot of shame attached to being infertile. Now with the World Wide Web you can find out how many other couples are going through a similar thing, and you can have the benefit of a cyber support group, on top of a real-live group.
There are lots of sites where you can read infertility stories – and it seems as though there are stories about each and every different kind of infertility. You may read stories about couples who have a long last had a baby after repeated miscarriages, couples who have gone through IVF or other fertility treatments, couples who have chosen to use a donated sperm, womb or egg, couples who have given birth to twins (or more) because of fertility treatments and couples who have chosen to adopt. You’ll definitely find some stories quite similar to your own! My favorite story was about a woman who experienced early menopause but was able to get pregnant because her identical twin donated an ovary! It’s the perfect donation! Identical DNA means the eggs are basically the same as what she had anyway, and it also means that her body wouldn’t reject the ovary! I know that it can mean a risk of earlier menopause for the twin who gave her ovary, but if I remember correctly, she had already had her kids so she was delighted to help! It’s stories like that which really get me going.
Then again, I don’t know if reading or listening to a heap of infertility stories is always helpful. The majority of them seem to be success stories only, which may give you hope, but they could also just make you more disheartened. I think it’s best to find a balance between real-life counseling and telling infertility stories on the World Wide Web. You could give the excuse that there aren’t any infertility support groups in your neighborhood, but have you thought of starting one? Other couples in the neighborhood may benefit from having a platform to tell their infertility stories. Your doctor may be able to refer couples to you if you don’t already know other couples struggling with childlessness. A caring, a willing ear and a freshly brewed pot of coffee are all you need to create a support group – so why not take that step?
Sharing infertility stories is very important – so try to find a place where your story will be heard. As I mentioned previously, maybe you should consider of starting one yourself. Relating your infertility stories and realizing that you aren’t alone could go far in helping you cope.
Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.